craigmanderson

LOVE HONOURS #2AM – MOTHER’S DAY

A WORD TO THE WISE – GUYS

Who do we celebrate? The hall of famers we celebrate as guys is often the sports heroes that have distinguished themselves with amazing achievements and courage to persevere.

Just think who we talk about the most – who we honour as our legends…

Maybe golfer Adam Scott who could possibly be world no. 1 within weeks.

What about The Don, Don Bradman, with a monster Test average of 99.94, more than 50% better than the closest retired batsman Graeme Pollock’s 60.97.

And even though he retired in 1948, Don Bradman is still the only Australian batsman to pass 100 first-class centuries with 117, the closest Justin Langer with 86, Darren Lehmann 82, Mark Waugh 81, Steve Waugh 79, Matt Hayden 79, and Stuart Law 79.

Maybe Marjorie Jackson who in the 1952 Olympics created history as the first Australian woman to win the sprint double – the 100 and 200.

Or in 1956 Olympics when Betty Cuthbert went one better with the 100, 200, and relay and eight years later added a fourth gold with victory in the inaugural 400.

Rome 1960 and the magnificent 1500 run by Herb Elliott. And Sydney 2000, when Cathy Freeman stopped the nation with her 400 gold.

Heather McKay who won 16 successive British squash Opens from 1962 to 1977.

Rod Laver won two Grand Slams, 1962 as an amateur, and 1969 as a pro, the only two-timer, Margaret Court won her Grand Slam in 1970.

Kay Cottee was the first women to sail single-handedly and non-stop around the world, it took her 189 days in 1988 and was named Australian of the Year.

Cadel Evans’ 2011 Tour de France win is right up there, with thanks to Phil Anderson for hanging in there in the early days to give Australia some recognition.

Jimmy Carruthers in boxing, The Americas Cup win in 1983, for John Bertrand, Queensland’s seven-year State of Origin domination from 2006 deserves special mention, so too the 1991 and 1999 Rugby World Cup victories.

I could go on!

But for most of us there’s someone right here at home we need to honour as a person of real courage and perseverance. – Your mother and /or your wife!

Let’s face it who could put up with you for this long without bringing out the knives or turning into a blubbering mess with sheer frustration?

A couple of weeks ago our guest speaker Marcus Ardern mentioned how his friend Ray Comfort when he had his first child, was struggling with sleepless nights and frustrating times and wrote to his mother and said thanks for not drowning me in a bucket when I was a baby!

Three times in the gospel story Jesus refers to the commandment that we are to honour our father and mother, making it a high priority in the journey of pleasing God. Ephesians calls it the first commandment with promise, saying Honour your Father and mother that your days may be long in the earth. I haven’t figured out yet if your days are longer because your father and mother didn’t kill you or if there’s a blessing of God that comes upon an honouring child that gives them long life!

Today being mother’s day throws the spotlight on the importance of honouring our mothers and just as importantly helping our kids to honour their mothers. Men, is there honour in your home? To put perspective on this subject of honour, what we are teaching this month is that Love Honours. That means that we see a tremendous importance of honour as a kingdom value and that value flows across the church and the home. Where there is honour, there is the blessing and favour of God; hence the reference to longer lives when we honour father and mother.

Let’s take a look at this scene from that famous Australian movie called “The Castle” The movie is meant to be a comedy and quintessentially Australian culture or perhaps we should say Bogan culture. (The scene is about the dinner table conversation where Darryl Kernigan, the dad, is appreciative of mums cooking and the kids see a great example of valuing the mum’s effort)

Sadly such a scene might seem make believe in many homes around the nation in recent times where getting everyone together at the dinner table seems like a lost art. I love this scene because Dad leads the way in valuing mums effort as simple as it may seem. This is honour and it comes from love. Let’s rehearse again what honour is: Honour means to value, to give weight, to esteem, to count as precious, to give worth and recognition to. In contrast to that, dishonour means to be familiar, to take for granted, to count as being worth less, to ignore and to be rude.

Where is the put down in your home? Is there a culture in your home of devaluing words directed at mum? In so many homes around the nation, not only do we see hurtful and harmful words spoken to wives and mothers but we see open violence perpetrated on an increasing scale. The definition of family violence includes verbal abuse, – “Family and domestic violence is any violent, threatening, coercive or controlling behaviour that occurs in current or past family, domestic or intimate relationships. This includes not only physical injury but direct or indirect threats, sexual assault, emotional and psychological torment, economic control, damage to property, social isolation and any behaviour which causes a person to live in fear.” – DHS Victoria. http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/for-individuals/children,-families-and-young-people/family-violence/what-is-family-violence

Is there dishonour in your home? Guys, do not tolerate it. Do you treat your wife with honour? Do your children and teens treat their mother with honour?

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honour to one another.

MY STORY – Growing up I had no dad, and so I had an attitude that I needed to help my mother because it was hard for her. Nevertheless I dishonoured her a few times, like when the police brought me home one day for riding a motorbike on the road unlicensed at 14 years of age. In my home I have watched over the conversations so that my four sons kept their words honourable towards their mother.

Ephes 5:33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband.

1 Pet 3:7 In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honouring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

THE JESUS STORY

Of course we would expect Jesus to honour His own mother, but where would we see hat example? Perhaps in the story at the cross.

John 19:25-27 But by the cross of Jesus stood His mother, His mother’s sister, Mary the [wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

²⁶ So Jesus, seeing His mother there, and the disciple whom He loved standing near, said to His mother, [^[b]Dear] woman, See, [here is] your son!

²⁷ Then He said to the disciple, See, [here is] your mother! And from that hour, the disciple took her into his own [keeping, own home].

WHY WE MUST LOVE AND HONOUR OUR WIVES AND MOTHERS

A study on women’s work responsibilities in May 2103 showed they put in a huge effort! http://tinyurl.com/leblfoo

Wondering why you’re tired all the time? It could be that you’re overworked. Not necessarily by your employer, but by both the paid and unpaid hours you’re putting in to get stuff done at home and in the office.

Australian women are still spending around twice as many hours on child care and household duties than men, even once women increase their time in paid employment.

A fact sheet prepared by the Australian Institute of Families Studies for the National Families Week conference this week breaks down the gender differences between mothers and fathers when it comes to paid and unpaid work.

It found these differences are particularly obvious during the childbearing years, with the biggest divide in the average time spent on paid work, parenting and household tasks occurring between mothers and fathers of children under five.

Mums working full-time with a youngest child under five were found to be spending an additional 3.6 hours on child care and 2.4 hours on housework a day. For part-time mums, the figure extended to 4.9 hours on child care and 3.5 hours on housework, while those not in paid employment were spending 5.7 hours on child care and 4.5 hours on housework.

So for those mums working an eight hour day in paid employment, factor in the child care and household work and she’s working a 14 hour day. That’s not including commuting time, and the extra unpaid overtime she may be putting in at the office. All up, that means she’s working a 70 hour week – also not factoring in any additional duties completed over the weekend.

Unsurprisingly, the report found working mothers were more likely than any other group to feel pressed for time, with 62% of such women declaring they’re almost always, or often, rushed or pressed for time. Just 6% of employed women with children reported they’re rarely or never rushed for time.

Dads step up only slightly when mums are in full-time work, spending 2.6 hours on child care and 1.8 hours a day on housework compared to the 2.1 hours on childcare and 1.3 they spend when mums were not working.

In households with a mother, father and children under 12, Dads were found to rarely be undertaking the child care tasks alone – with mums staying home more often when their kids were ill, while dads were getting involved during more-shared tasks, such as getting the children ready for bed.

Still, despite feeling pressed for time, Australian employees are generally satisfied with employment flexibility, according to comments made by AIFS’ Senior Researcher Dr Jennifer Baxter in the report.

“Employed men and women reported quite high levels of satisfaction with the flexibility they had to balance work and non-work commitments,” she said.

“Around six in ten employed men and women reported being very satisfied about their job flexibility. The most satisfied were those who said they could access flexible start and finish times.”

DISHONOUR IN YOUR HOME?

What does a put down look like?  Sometimes we don’t realise what power our words have. We may use words that devalue the gift that God has given us.

See if any of these statements have filled the air in your home, whether from your lips or your kids.

“Oh that’s rubbish! Where did you get that from? You’re an idiot!”

“You spent how much? What do you think I’m made of money? #Expletive#”

“Come on, hurry up. I’ve been waiting for hours! We are going to be late. If you’re not ready in five, I’m going without you.”

“I hate spaghetti bolognaise, do I have to eat it? We have it nearly every night”

“No I’m not watching that #expletive# If you want to watch that go and find yourself another TV set.”

“No I don’t want to go and see your mother this weekend. It’s so boring there I nearly died last time, make up some excuse.”

Guys, you’re the head of the home. You’re in charge of the culture that is set there. Even if your home has been broken through separation, don’t bow to common culture but keep honour there. Bring value to your mother, and your wife and help your kids to bring honour to their own mother. In the next two weeks we are going to look at how we would bring honour where father or mother has been unworthy of it.

1. Is there Honour in your home?

2. Instead of thinking “My home is doing OK” Let’s think of ways we can improve the Honour in our homes.

3. What conversations need to change in your home so that people honour one another and especially children honour parents?

4. What example do we set to our children as we practice Honour for those in authority like police, politicians, and teachers?

5. How does honour look in your home when discussing church leaders?

Read Full Post »