craigmanderson

REALationships #1 PM  –  Sunday 9^th June 2013  – Sex and the single

There’s no doubt that sex can be a wonderful experience! It can also be a negative experience and even a soul destroying experience.

I lost my virginity when I was 17. That’s not very early these days. More about me later.

The common experience of non-Christians in Australia today is around

33% year 10 students; and 60 % year 12 students report having oral sex.

25% year 10 and around 50% year 12 report vaginal sexual intercourse.

Rates for young men over the last six years have remained stable or fallen slightly, while for young women, rates have increased particularly among year 12 girls, rising from 46% to 61%. (2008 figures)

For more info go to:

http://www.latrobe.edu.au/news/documents/SSASH040809.pdf

Of course the world is sex mad and if you’re not doing it – there’s something wrong with you. The amount of sex on TV and in all forms of entertainment is ridiculous!

But what does the designer have to say about it? It’s not cool to have sex with someone you’re not committed to for life.

MY STORY

Chris and I got together in Year 11 at high school. Neither of us were Christians.

We began a sexual relationship in Year 12 at school when we were 17 years of age and had that kind of relationship for 3 years. Then something happened.

We were both born again when we were 20 years of age.

As we came to Christ it was such a powerful experience. We were born again and Jesus became so real to us. We were born again about two months when Chris said to me I think it’s wrong that we keep on having sex now that we are saved. I said, “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that, but yes it has been on my mind too.”

We stopped having sex. And we stayed apart sexually for 18 months till we got married.

Some singles might say to me – it’s difficult! How can you stop? For us it was easy.

We changed our values. We didn’t spend 18 months struggling with lustful passions. We changed the way we did life. During those 18 months we saw each other a few times every week but it was almost always in the company of others. We had great fun as we joined into a young adults group that was part of the church.

Chris lived for most of that time in a youth house with live in house parents. We were quite happy to be alone with each other but not behind closed doors. We could spend time talking about stuff in rooms with open doors that afforded privacy but without secrecy. In any event we didn’t want to get worked up and have unfulfilled desires. Love was about spending time together getting to know one another better and now that we were saved, talking lots about what life held for us now.

So what are God’s thoughts about sex and the single life?

1Co 7:1  NOW AS to the matters of which you wrote me. It is well [and by that I mean advantageous, expedient, profitable, and wholesome] for a man not to touch a woman [to cohabit with her] but to remain unmarried.

1Co 7:2  But because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality, let each [man] have his own wife and let each [woman] have her own husband.

1Co 7:7  I wish that all men were like I myself am [in this matter of self-control]. But each has his own special gift from God, one of this kind and one of another.

1Co 7:8  But to the unmarried people and to the widows, I declare that it is well (good, advantageous, expedient, and wholesome) for them to remain [single] even as I do.

1Co 7:9  But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire]. (AMP)

Eph 5:5  For be sure of this: that no person practicing sexual vice or impurity in thought or in life, or one who is covetous [who has lustful desire for the property of others and is greedy for gain]–for he [in effect] is an idolater–has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (AMP)

Listen to God’s wisdom, because sex has the power to create new life, that new life, in God’s mind, has a right to a good home with a mum and dad who are committed to each other and will bring that child up in the ways of God.

God is looking for covenant to be in place before the mystery of sex is released.

1Co 6:15  Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master’s body. You wouldn’t take the Master’s body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.

1Co 6:16  There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”

1Co 6:17  Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever–the kind of sex that can never “become one.”  (MESS)

Listen to some godly wisdom about the sex act and how different it is for men and women…

Go to: http://youtu.be/jL1l9ZtGC2w    Listen to the first 2:50 minutes.

Here’s the value changers.

1. Hang with groups. Meet lots of people. Develop lots of different relationships as brothers and sisters. Don’t be quick to establish the “One and only”
2. When you’re alone with a person of the opposite sex, put yourself out of the way of temptation. Be in a house with others, go out to a coffee shop, keep open doors between you and others.
3. When you enter a love relationship, tell each other your boundaries and make an agreement to hold each other accountable to those boundaries.
4. Develop your passions for God’s work, don’t let the world beguile you into thinking that sex is a measure of your happiness; or that you are missing out on something.
5. Put the call of God first. That relationship is a seek first the kingdom one and God will add all these things to you.