craigmanderson

In this nation of Australia, many would say that we are working on gender equality. Even many men would think it’s an ongoing process to give women the equality that should be part of a modern nation. Maybe we pride ourselves in thinking we are better than some other nations where women are treated as second rate citizens or worse. Yet in Australia gender inequality is probably more ingrained than we think.

Without even going to the inequalities that exist in rates of pay in most industries, we have the “in your face” evidence of Violence Against Women. How can we begin to think that we have some form of gender equality when one in five women suffer some form of violence from men? No good pointing the finger at those men who perpetrate Violence Against Women. This is my problem, this is a problem for all of us men. We must take ownership of this culture that allows, condones, or looks the other way when women are treated poorly.

Perhaps it isn’t as clear as it should be for some men. Violence Against Women (VAW) is fuelled by gender inequality. When violence Against Women takes place, it speaks loudly that the men who initiate violence see women as less valuable. They think that it’s OK to intimidate or control or let loose on them. This isn’t a case of rising violence in general. This is a unique and unhealthy pattern in our Aussie culture. The stats are bad enough to bring us to our senses. In Victoria last financial year we had 65,000 family incidents a rise of 8% in just one year. (see http://www.police.vic.gov.au/content.asp?a=internetBridgingPage&Media_ID=72176 ) Even worse, many authorities say that VAW is under reported by as much as five to one.

Just what goes on in the minds of some men when it comes to how they treat women? Is it that some men feel superior? Is it that they think a woman has less worth? Is it that they are insecure or threatened or believe women should be put in their place? How do we so easily forget that every woman is someone’s mother, or someone’s daughter? How would a man feel if another man degraded and devalued his daughter in the same way they do to their partner or any woman? Sexist remarks are not OK. Not recognising a woman’s contribution to a discussion simply because she is a woman is pathetic. What kind of environment are we building? Can we choose to empower and respect men and women alike as we work with them and associate with them?

Perhaps it begins in the school playground when a boy is called to “Stop acting like a girl.” This statement speaks about less than acceptable behaviour. These statements train a boy up to think that being a girl is less than acceptable. Are men violent just because they can? Being bigger or stronger most of the time is a pretty poor reason to exercise gratuitous violence. Why isn’t there a sense of wanting to protect someone who is physically more vulnerable?

Don’t misunderstand me, I am sure many women show amazing strength and have it all over the guys in endurance or tenacity and courage; but when walking down a dark street at night – does any woman feel safe? This should not be so! If we are so evolved, how can we fall back into “might is right”, or “I’ll take what I want” mentality. If we look at the worst cases of VAW, most of us are repulsed. But stop right there, all cases are fuelled by this ingrained streak that runs through Aussie society – we don’t value women as equal to men. Face it!

VAW is not just physical violence. VAW is defined as any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.’ – United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women

Domestic violence refers to acts of violence that occur between people who have, or have had, an intimate relationship. While there is no single definition, the central element of domestic violence is an ongoing pattern of behaviour aimed at controlling a partner through fear, for example by using behaviour which is violent and threatening. In most cases, the violent behaviour is part of a range of tactics to exercise power and control over women and their children, and can be both criminal and non-criminal.

Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse.

Physical violence can include slaps, shoves, hits, punches, pushes, being thrown down stairs or across the room, kicking, twisting of arms, choking, and being burnt or stabbed. Sexual assault or sexual violence can include rape, sexual assault with implements, being forced to watch or engage in pornography, enforced prostitution, and being made to have sex with friends of the perpetrator.

Psychological and emotional abuse can include a range of controlling behaviours such as control of finances, isolation from family and friends, continual humiliation, threats against children or being threatened with injury or death. (See http://www.dss.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/08_2014/national_plan1.pdf)

I’m a man. What can I do about it? Be respectful of all women. If a woman is badly behaved – I have no right to commit a crime against her. Recognise that every person has value. Choose a mindset that gives value and worth to women just as I would to men. Work towards recognising aspects of inequality in the workplace, family environment, sporting club etc. Have a discussion with other men and stand up for the idea of equality. It’s a long road but we must make headway and change the culture of this great nation of Australia. I want to be proud of our nation and see it rise to its proper place as a nation where women are treated fairly and with respect. It’s for your mum, your partner and your daughter too!