Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Family violence’

MEN MUST PRAY

Posted in Church, Equip the Saints, FAITH, Prayer, Preaching messages, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2015| Leave a Comment »

FAITH PRAYS – MEN PRAY – A message for Men on Mother’s day Faith Prays-final-02

Men, do you want to be part of God’s ultimate purpose that will dominate and fill the earth? Is your world a big one? Is your world described by interacting with something that will change history and bring life and answers to humanity?

Jesus said, “I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it!”

That sounds like a very powerful force in the earth to me. I want to part of it. I hope you want to be a part of it. I hope you want to lead your family in being a part of it. Bring your family to church men! Lead your wife and kids to Jesus and to the body of Christ, the church that He has planned will overcome and fill the earth.

Young men, listen to the old men and grow up well and wisely. Be devoted to Christ and live wholeheartedly for Him. Be a pray-er and treat all women with respect. Pray for your future wife.  Married men, learn leadership, understand that headship is leadership not dominance. Demonstrate respectful relationships to your children. Take your family to church. Ensure your children find Jesus and as they grow into teens; lead by example. Be in church, pray for your family, lead with humility, be the same in church as you are at home, no hypocrisy. Keep your teens in church and youth group or you may lose them out of the kingdom. Older men, pray for the church. Don’t abdicate your role as the leaders and the wisdom of the body. God says, honour the old men.  Your age brings experience and wisdom. Lead Urban Connect Groups, love the families, lead by example and guide the young men.

If we are going to be great men of all ages, we will be pray-ers. Prayer is not optional if we are going to be part of the church of the living God.

Let’s see what Jesus has to say to men about prayer.

Luke 18:1-8 AMP Also [Jesus] told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not to turn coward (faint, lose heart, and give up).

2 He said, In a certain city there was a judge who neither reverenced and feared God nor respected or considered man.

3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, Protect and defend and give me justice against my adversary.

4 And for a time he would not; but later he said to himself, though I have neither reverence or fear for God nor respect or consideration for man,

5 Yet because this widow continues to bother me, I will defend and protect and avenge her, lest she give me intolerable annoyance and wear me out by her continual coming or at the last she come and rail on me or assault me or strangle me.

6 Then the Lord said, Listen to what the unjust judge says!

7 And will not [our just] God defend and protect and avenge His elect (His chosen ones), who cry to Him day and night? Will He defer them and delay help on their behalf?

8 I tell you, He will defend and protect and avenge them speedily. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [persistence in] faith on the earth?

Jesus wanted to empower His own men to pray and not give up, or lose heart. So He told them a story about a widow woman.

Why?

Why tell a story about a woman to men to try and inspire men to do anything. Wouldn’t it be better to tell a story about David? Or about any man. Aren’t we men going to be more inspired about great men and what they have achieved than hearing about what a woman has achieved?

In this story the man is the problem! What’s Jesus saying here? What is He trying to achieve?

This is a story about power! The woman apparently has no power. Men may be reluctant to admit powerlessness. Perhaps a woman more readily feels powerless because they are so often dominated by men. This woman is even more powerless being a widow and having no husband to protect her. As men, are we sometimes guilty of saying, She’ll be right. I’ll fix it! It will buff out! Don’t worry about it.” This woman demonstrated that in the midst of powerlessness, she found power. The secret of her power is persistence not strength! It’s not ingenuity that wins the day, it’s persistence. It’s not the rightness of her cause that wins the day, it’s persistence! It’s not anything else but persistence.

Men ought always to pray and not to turn coward (faint, lose heart, and give up). Come on, how many men here have fallen victim to the persistence of a woman?

Learn from the master young grasshopper!

The power this woman has is in her persistent asking. Jesus makes it clear that she won the day because she did not give up. Even in the face of unrighteous judge, she won, how much more will we win when we go to a righteous God in heaven with our plea? Jesus says we will be speedily avenged, but we still must be persistent.

We give up too soon. When we are praying, we stop before the answer leaves heaven. Sometimes we don’t start because we think we can fix it ourselves. We procrastinate or we don’t see the need. Praying men have changed the world!

Acknowledging your powerlessness is key to receiving from God. He says, I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. (John 15:5 AMP)

Paul experienced powerlessness and he learned how to overcome in it.

7 And to keep me from being puffed up and too much elated by the exceeding greatness (preeminence) of these revelations, there was given me a thorn (a splinter) in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to rack and buffet and harass me, to keep me from being excessively exalted.

8 Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me;

9 But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! (2 Cor 12:7-9 AMP)

When he felt weak, then he knew he was strongest because Christ’s strength is made perfect in weakness. When we run out of our own answers we turn to God for His answers. Men, young men, older men, pray! Don’t give up, keep on praying! Pray until you receive an answer.

When I was first married my wife and I had some disagreements and we would argue. I would feel frustrated and we would often preach at each other, trying to score points. What I learned to do was thank God for my wife. I couldn’t change her. I could try and change myself, and that was hard. But the real power lay in thanksgiving. When I thanked God for Chris, He began to work in our lives. It was important that I prayed.

Pray for your wife and kids (if you’re single pray for your extended family)

Learn the power of headship. 1 Cor 11:3 AMP But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God. Spiritual Authority flows down. Headship is leadership not dominance. When you pray for your wife you have power spiritually, God and satan recognise you are the legitimate head and you are the one in authority. If you stand in the gap between your wife and kids and the spirit realm then that spirit realm must recognise your authority over them because God says you are the head over the wife and she over the kids.

How do you pray for your family?

Bless your wife and children. Your words are powerful! Declare blessing over them.

Numbers 6:22-27 The Message (MSG)

The Aaronic Blessing

22-23 God spoke to Moses: “Tell Aaron and his sons, This is how you are to bless the People of Israel. Say to them,

24 God bless you and keep you,

25 God smile on you and gift you,

26 God look you full in the face and make you prosper.

27 In so doing, they will place my name on the People of Israel—

I will confirm it by blessing them.”

Pray for your wife, thanking God for her. Pray for God to give her mercy, strength, and revelation. Declare the covering of God’s presence over her and ask for the angels to surround her. Pray for your children, blessing them, declaring protection over them. Guard them in the spirit by asking for God’s protection over them. Stand against principalities and powers that oppose God’s purpose in their lives.

Spiritually you are the covering and the protection over your family. Guard your home. Demonstrate and promote respectful relationships in your home. There must never be family violence in your home. This includes not only physical injury but direct or indirect threats, sexual assault, emotional and psychological torment, economic control, damage to property, social isolation and any behaviour which causes a person to live in fear. In this church we are making a stand against family violence. Men we ask you to swear an oath on the White Ribbon website: Swear

I swear never to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.

This is my oath.

If there is violence or disrespectful relationships in your home, don’t be ashamed, seek help, come and see me and I will help you. You can change and become the godly man that you were called to be.

Guard your home against unhealthy internet invasion. Teach your children about dangers of internet porn. 85% of 16 year olds are exposed to porn. Approximately 15% are addicted to porn. Any amount of exposure is harmful. As fathers we must protect our children from this great harm. It has the potential to destroy their sexuality and ruin them for healthy married life.

How?

  1. Talk to your kids about porn from about 8 or 9 years old and onwards regularly.
  2. Use filters in your home wifi. For example: See here.
  3. Use screens in open areas like lounge/dinning or study room not in bedrooms.
  4. Limit screen time per day. Create active living and sport.

If you struggle with porn yourself seek help. Come and see me and begin the process of change. Lead by example.

Pray for your wife and children. Stand in Faith for their salvation and security. It will take a determined effort on your part but eternity will reward you for it.

Let’s pray!

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. What time of the day do you find is most workable for you to pray?

2. What motivates you to pray?

3. What answers to prayer can you tell us about?

4. What things stop you or try and stop you praying?

5.  How can you overcome those things?

Read Full Post »

GENDER EQUALITY IN AUSTRALIA  

Posted in Culture Watch, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2014| 2 Comments »

depositphotos_26593123-Gender-equality-sex-justice-3D-scales

In this nation of Australia, many would say that we are working on gender equality. Even many men would think it’s an ongoing process to give women the equality that should be part of a modern nation. Maybe we pride ourselves in thinking we are better than some other nations where women are treated as second rate citizens or worse. Yet in Australia gender inequality is probably more ingrained than we think.

Without even going to the inequalities that exist in rates of pay in most industries, we have the “in your face” evidence of Violence Against Women. How can we begin to think that we have some form of gender equality when one in five women suffer some form of violence from men? No good pointing the finger at those men who perpetrate Violence Against Women. This is my problem, this is a problem for all of us men. We must take ownership of this culture that allows, condones, or looks the other way when women are treated poorly.

Perhaps it isn’t as clear as it should be for some men. Violence Against Women (VAW) is fuelled by gender inequality. When violence Against Women takes place, it speaks loudly that the men who initiate violence see women as less valuable. They think that it’s OK to intimidate or control or let loose on them. This isn’t a case of rising violence in general. This is a unique and unhealthy pattern in our Aussie culture. The stats are bad enough to bring us to our senses. In Victoria last financial year we had 65,000 family incidents a rise of 8% in just one year. (see http://www.police.vic.gov.au/content.asp?a=internetBridgingPage&Media_ID=72176 ) Even worse, many authorities say that VAW is under reported by as much as five to one.

Just what goes on in the minds of some men when it comes to how they treat women? Is it that some men feel superior? Is it that they think a woman has less worth? Is it that they are insecure or threatened or believe women should be put in their place? How do we so easily forget that every woman is someone’s mother, or someone’s daughter? How would a man feel if another man degraded and devalued his daughter in the same way they do to their partner or any woman? Sexist remarks are not OK. Not recognising a woman’s contribution to a discussion simply because she is a woman is pathetic. What kind of environment are we building? Can we choose to empower and respect men and women alike as we work with them and associate with them?

Perhaps it begins in the school playground when a boy is called to “Stop acting like a girl.” This statement speaks about less than acceptable behaviour. These statements train a boy up to think that being a girl is less than acceptable. Are men violent just because they can? Being bigger or stronger most of the time is a pretty poor reason to exercise gratuitous violence. Why isn’t there a sense of wanting to protect someone who is physically more vulnerable?

Don’t misunderstand me, I am sure many women show amazing strength and have it all over the guys in endurance or tenacity and courage; but when walking down a dark street at night – does any woman feel safe? This should not be so! If we are so evolved, how can we fall back into “might is right”, or “I’ll take what I want” mentality. If we look at the worst cases of VAW, most of us are repulsed. But stop right there, all cases are fuelled by this ingrained streak that runs through Aussie society – we don’t value women as equal to men. Face it!

VAW is not just physical violence. VAW is defined as any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.’ – United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women

Domestic violence refers to acts of violence that occur between people who have, or have had, an intimate relationship. While there is no single definition, the central element of domestic violence is an ongoing pattern of behaviour aimed at controlling a partner through fear, for example by using behaviour which is violent and threatening. In most cases, the violent behaviour is part of a range of tactics to exercise power and control over women and their children, and can be both criminal and non-criminal.

Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse.

Physical violence can include slaps, shoves, hits, punches, pushes, being thrown down stairs or across the room, kicking, twisting of arms, choking, and being burnt or stabbed. Sexual assault or sexual violence can include rape, sexual assault with implements, being forced to watch or engage in pornography, enforced prostitution, and being made to have sex with friends of the perpetrator.

Psychological and emotional abuse can include a range of controlling behaviours such as control of finances, isolation from family and friends, continual humiliation, threats against children or being threatened with injury or death. (See http://www.dss.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/08_2014/national_plan1.pdf)

I’m a man. What can I do about it? Be respectful of all women. If a woman is badly behaved – I have no right to commit a crime against her. Recognise that every person has value. Choose a mindset that gives value and worth to women just as I would to men. Work towards recognising aspects of inequality in the workplace, family environment, sporting club etc. Have a discussion with other men and stand up for the idea of equality. It’s a long road but we must make headway and change the culture of this great nation of Australia. I want to be proud of our nation and see it rise to its proper place as a nation where women are treated fairly and with respect. It’s for your mum, your partner and your daughter too!

 

Read Full Post »

WHITE RIBBON SUNDAY

Posted in Church, Culture Watch, Preaching messages, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2012| Leave a Comment »

WHITE RIBBON SUNDAY

Watch this clip – http://youtu.be/_ghqblX8kxM  (Warning: This clip contains disturbing scenes)

What is the White Ribbon Foundation?

http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/

This is a world wide organisation to work for prevention of violence against women.

Plenty Valley Church’s stand against Family Violence.

Culture Changers – Christians in a sick society

Our calling is to change the culture we live in – to be salt and light (Matt 5:13-16); to influence for righteousness. An example of this was Daniel.

The story of Daniel was how he brought change to Babylon and King Darius

Daniel 6:25-28

In the modern day we have examples like Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela. These were Christians who stood for righteousness and worked to change the prevailing culture of their own society.

The effectiveness of their stand varies, but the fact that they stood up for righteousness against the ungodliness of their surroundings is a result of their Christianity being outworked.

Christians have stood for change, for righteousness in many different arenas. Often it is a tiny voice against an ocean of unrighteousness. Their results can be:

  1. A standard marker to set direction for righteousness for the generation (Mother Theresa)
  2. The movement creator who led massive change (Nelson Mandela)
  3. A Martyr who’s presence and unjust death galvanised the forces for good into action. (Dr. Martin Luther King Jnr.)

We are called to be salt and light, to be culture changers.

In our local area family violence is a major force. It is the enemy.

Stats and figures are showing an increase 288% in 10 years.

More stats see – http://tinyurl.com/8jzzu53

Explain Family Violence:

It often begins with Violence against women, and includes abuse of children.

Violence against women is understood to occur on a continuum from psychological, economic and emotional abuse through to physical and sexual violence.

It refers to ‘any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life’.   (United Nations 1993)

Forms of violence against women

• Physical: hitting, slapping, choking, stabbing, murder, murder-suicide…

• Sexual: rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual abuse…

• Emotional and verbal: put-downs, insults, deliberately undermining confidence, humiliating, degrading, threats of violence or punishment, manipulation…

• Social: controlling and isolating, smothering, abusing in public

• Economic: controlling/denying money…

• Spiritual: eroding a women’s cultural or religious beliefs…

Family Violence also includes bullying and harassment

Violence against children includes most of these forms of abuse as well as witnessing the abuse of their mothers.

How we are going to fight it?

  1. Prayer
  2. Self-awareness in the church
    1. be different
    2. be salt and light
  3. Network with other groups and work together
  4. Offer resources to assist families
    1. Marriage counselling and enrichment.
    2. Budget counselling
    3. Assisting Teens issues
    4. Men’s groups
  5. Pull together community leaders to create cultural change.

Violence in the home is wrong. Violence is out of place in the world except as self defence. The home is for love, acceptance and nurture.

Usually it is men behaving badly. Why do men commit violence?

It is learned culture.

–         Violence begins at a young age with video games, cartoons, television and movies.

–         This leads to bullying at primary school which leads to bullying at high school

–         Leads to family violence when adulthood is reached.

When men feel impotent and powerless they act out. They choose violence to affirm their manhood. This is in part caused by:

–         No affirming fathers

–         No celebration on the sporting field, as more and more young boys turn from active sport to sedentary digital screens for recreation.

–         No healthy initiation into manhood.

ANSWER – EQUALITY

The foundation of the home is love and respect. While the bible clearly teaches that the man should be the leader in the home, this role is to nurture, protect and provide.

God calls men and women to equality.

Gal 3:28  In Christ’s family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. (MESS)

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (AMP)

In the workplace, street, school or uni God calls us to honour love and respect one another regardless of gender, race or age.

Rom 12:10  Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honour to one another. (AMP)

THERE IS NO PLACE FOR VIOLENCE IN OUR HOMES OR IN SOCIETY.

The only righteous place for violence is self defence. In law this must be demonstrated at a lesser level than the attacker’s violence.

Rom 12:16  Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. [Prov. 3:7.]

Rom 12:17  Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone. [Prov. 20:22.]

Rom 12:18  If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Rom 12:19  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord. [Deut. 32:35.]

Rom 12:20  But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. [Prov. 25:21, 22.]

Rom 12:21  Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. (AMP)

When we witness violence we must

  1. Protect the vulnerable
  2. Speak up
  3. Call for help

MEN ARE OFTEN THE PERPETRATORS, MEN MUST LEAD THE WAY IN CULTURAL CHANGE.

ACTION PLAN

  1. Pray against the spirit of violence.
  2. Eliminate Family Violence in our homes
  3. Men –  take a stand – take the pledge – speak up
  4. Take every opportunity to be salt and light in your workplace, Street, school, uni.

Read Full Post »