Posts Tagged ‘relationships’


Anybody want to live a long life?

Well there’s a promise God has made to you that if you do one thing, you will live a long life. Here it is:

Eph 6:2  Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–[Exod. 20:12.]

Exo_20:12  Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you.

When you honour your Father and Mother you open up God’s authority to bless you.

The principle of Honour in the bible is very important. In each place where honour was missing there is a corresponding lack of God’s favour and provision.

For example, When Jesus visited His own home town we read.

Mar 6:1  JESUS WENT away from there and came to His [own] country and hometown [Nazareth], and His disciples followed [with] Him.

Mar 6:2  And on the Sabbath He began to teach in the synagogue; and many who listened to Him were utterly astonished, saying, Where did this Man acquire all this? What is the wisdom [the broad and full intelligence which has been] given to Him? What mighty works and exhibitions of power are wrought by His hands!

Mar 6:3  Is not this the Carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not His sisters here among us? And they took offense at Him and were hurt [that is, they disapproved of Him, and it hindered them from acknowledging His authority] and they were caused to stumble and fall.

Mar 6:4  But Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor (deference, reverence) except in his [own] country and among [his] relatives and in his [own] house.

Mar 6:5  And He was not able to do even one work of power there, except that He laid His hands on a few sickly people [and] cured them.

Mar 6:6  And He marvelled because of their unbelief (their lack of faith in Him). And He went about among the surrounding villages and continued teaching. (amp)

Familiarity is the first step away from honour. Then comes contempt, then judgement then dishonour. Where there is no honour there is no divinely established authority for blessing and favour. God says a lot about Honour in the word.

Exo_20:12  Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you.

Psa 105:15  Saying, Touch not My anointed, and do My prophets no harm. [I Chron. 16:8-22.]

Rom 13:7  Render to all men their dues. [Pay] taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, and honor to whom honor is due. (AMP)

The Lord extends the principle of honor found in the Ten Commandments to other God-created relationships. In the name of the Lord, we are commanded to honor the king (I Peter 2:17), employers (I Timothy 6:1), shepherds (I Timothy 5:17), the elderly (Leviticus 19:32), and widows (I Timothy 5:3). In fact, our mouths are to be filled with honor and praise all the day (Psalm 71:8).

What does Honour do?

Honour recognises God at work. Honour recognises the rightful place of God’s authority and His flow of command. The picture that God conveys of honour and authority in the family is clear:

1Co 11:3  But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God.

In God’s house the principle of Honour is also clear: Heb 13:17  Obey your spiritual leaders and submit to them [continually recognizing their authority over you], for they are constantly keeping watch over your souls and guarding your spiritual welfare, as men who will have to render an account [of their trust]. [Do your part to] let them do this with gladness and not with sighing and groaning, for that would not be profitable to you [either].

The man of God must walk in humility, so he may never ask for Honour, for it is not demanded but given by obedience to revelation. Where there is dishonour the purpose blessing and favour of God is blocked.

When Ham did not honour his father Noah his punishment fell upon his son Caanan.

In 2 Kings 1 when King Ahaziah of Israel dishonoured the prophet Elijah 100 of his best soldiers died in a rain of fire.

When Absalom, David’s son dishonoured his father he was killed by David’s captain while hanging by his beautiful hair in a tree.

The first call to honour for all of us is to honour our father and mother. It may seem to be hard to honour your father if you believe he has not acted honourably. What are we to do about this? Honour is defined in the New Testament as: to value, to prize, to revere, glory, to esteem in the highest degree, to hold in the highest regard, to show respect. This is not respect for what our father does or did, but respect for who they are. When God commanded us to honour our fathers, surely you must believe that He was aware that many fathers would live far from perfect lives.

When we give honour to our fathers it empowers them. When we honour our fathers we give place to God’s ordained path of blessing and authority. Lack of honour for fathers and for leaders is very disempowering. Very few men are strong enough to stand in the face of contempt, judgement and dishonour for long periods.

What would happen if you honoured your father and other God appointed leaders in your life? You would be saying to God, I accept your leadership of me through these godly appointed leaders. David honoured King Saul even when Saul was backslidden, far from God, consulting witches and physically threatening David’s life. David’s mindset was, “Saul is King, God made him King and if anything is going to change, God will be the one to do it, not me. For me, I will not touch the Lord’s anointed.” In other words, God is in control no matter what it looks like on the outside. That is giving God control and access and leadership.

Today I want to inspire you to honour your father. Whether he has done right or not. Whether he is inspiring or not.  To honour is to refuse to criticise, to speak with respect, to obey them when the command does not cause you to disobey scripture. To honour is to recognise that God has appointed them to lead you. That God is ultimately in control when you go with His plan.

  1. If your father has passed on, and you believe you dishonoured him in any way – it’s time now to repent and ask God to forgive you. Now speak well of your father for whatever good was in his life.
  2. If your father is alive, speak to him respectfully; ask forgiveness if you have shown dishonour over time.
  3. If your father has deeply hurt you, seek God for the strength to forgive and refuse to speak evil of him any longer. If you are able, speak respectfully to him and seek God to bring healing of this relationship.

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REALationships  # 3 PM 23 June 2013Boy Meets Girl 2


We have spoken in week one about Gods great passion to have a people of His own.

God is firstly a Father and He longs for children to walk with Him.


“But down the road the population of Israel is going to explode past counting, like sand on the ocean beaches. In the very place where they were once named Nobody, they will be named God’s Somebody. Everybody in Judah and everybody in Israel will be assembled as one people. They’ll choose a single leader. There’ll be no stopping them—a great day in Jezreel!” (Hosea 1:10, 11 MSG)

“And now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I’ll court her. I’ll give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She’ll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt. (Hosea 2:14, 15 MSG)

 PICTURE – God as the jilted lover, Israel as the unfaithful partner.  God, broken hearted keeps promising restoration if she will return.


 1. The fruit of the tree you shall not eat… You want what you can’t have.

2. The grass is greener scenario.

 In Australia http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Cheating-hearts/2004/12/22/1103391840011.html?oneclick=true

Depending on which study you believe, between 30 per cent and 50 per cent of people in long-term relationships have been unfaithful, and, according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, infidelity is cited as the main provocation in 20 per cent of divorce cases.

In the 2005 Global sex survey taken by the condom company Durex; Australia rated second highest nation on earth for the number of sexual partners respondents had. An average of 13.3.

 But for right now, friends, I’m completely frustrated by your unspiritual dealings with each other and with God. You’re acting like infants in relation to Christ, capable of nothing much more than nursing at the breast. Well, then, I’ll nurse you since you don’t seem capable of anything more. As long as you grab for what makes you feel good or makes you look important, are you really much different than a babe at the breast, content only when everything’s going your way? When one of you says, “I’m on Paul’s side,” and another says, “I’m for Apollos,” aren’t you being totally infantile? (1 Corinthians 3:1-4 MSG)

 Broken lives, sin soaked hearts, believing that you have to make it all happen yourself. Thinking God is not going to take care of you, wont keep his promise. He has promised to take care of you and provide everything for your needs. Your need for relationships is clear to Him.

  THEREFORE, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to God’s service, Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another. Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 AMP)

 So how does one build a great relationship with others especially someone who you want to share your life with – a life long partner?

  1. Put God first in your relationships. – intimacy with God brings life.
  2. Stop talking about yourself! Show interest in others.
  3. Sow what you want to reap – do unto others.
  4. Become the right person instead of looking for the right person.

  Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims. You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! (1 Corinthians 6:12, 13 MSG)

 There’s two needs women and men experience – intimacy and sex.

Within a marriage a woman will put up with sex to gain intimacy, and a man will put up with itimacy to gain sex.

 But before marriage God has a plan…

 Discover God and learn about people.

1Co 7:32  I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.

1Co 7:33  Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse,

1Co 7:34  leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.

1Co 7:35  I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

 Building great relationships is different today than in past times.

When your grandparents grew up it was most common fro a young man to court a young woman for a couple of years and they would decide to marry.

 Of course you have needs for companionship and for sex. The world says take what you need, the religion says deny what you need, but the answer is  acknowledge your need yield yourself to God.

 In my pre married days I had to make that transition from regular sexual involvement to celebacy as I became a Christian.  Its a high calling. Think of our grandfathers in th trenches in WW1.

 In my generation young couples met at parties and sometimes clubs and decided to go out. Later couples were connecting through mutual contact through school UNI and the workplace. Often groups of young adults hung out together and made relationship building a group affair.

 Things have changed a lot – in one episode of Jerry Seinfeld he’s dating a girl but can’t remember her name, he gets into all kinds of trouble trying to find out out what it is but can’t ask her because they are already sleeping together. This episode is dated over 10 years ago!!

 These days a fair percentage of couples get together through relationship and dating services.

When the Internet first began I married several couple who met someone through the Internet chat rooms and I was at first horrified. I thought for sure that these virtual relationships wouldn’t last, however I was surprised how many cof these coupes stayed together.



Australian members: Two million – the most popular online dating site, according to recent figures. Who’s on it: Roughly 50/50 female and male; 48% of members are aged between 26 and 40, while 34% are between 41 and 60


Australian members: More than a million, according to an eHarmony spokesperson Who’s on it: About 51% males and 49% females; most members are aged in their 20s and 30s, but there are also a large number of older users

 Oasis Active

Australian members: About 1.6 million Cost: Free Who’s on it: Roughly 60% of members are male and 40% female; 64% are aged between 18 and 35, while 27% are between 36 and 50

 Some people may still feel a bit uncomfortable about connecting through an online dating service,  however if you use one you will more than likely have more success than if you didn’t use one. And why is that?

 Relationships are hard because people are time poor, expectations have changed a great deal and online communications have taken away genuine intimacy.

The reason these online services have a good strike rate is the extensive profiling of each  person that takes place before they meet. To apply you must give a complete review of all your personality, background and experience. They website computer program’s select people with similar values so that the potential for conflict is reduced.


Do you look at a relationship and ask, “Will this relationship meet my needs?”

Then you may experience a lot of disappointment in relationships.

What makes a great relationship is the task of making someone else’s life beautiful.

 What makes a great relationship is what you give into a relationship.

Relationships are not 50/50 – It’s 100%

Are you looking for Mr. right or Miss Right? Or are you working on becoming Mr. Right or miss Right?

 Being needy or insecure in a relationship is going to make that relationship difficult. If the threat of ending a relationship brings fear to you then you may compromise your values to keep it. It’s not worth it.

 Here’s two great promises for you.

  1. God has planned your life. Jer 29:11  I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (MESS) – Tina’s story
  2. God knows your needs –  Mat 6:7  “The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God.  Mat 6:8  Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. (MESS)


  1. Do you believe that a person’s relationship with God can be so fulfilling that they don’t need a partner? Discuss.
  2. Discuss how online communication such as facebook has removed a lot of the real intimacy in relationships.
  3. Discuss the differences in how young men and young women experience the challenges of singleness.
  4. If you are always talking about yourself, what does that do to your relationships?
  5. When people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, they are often getting the wrong perspective. Discuss.

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REALationships # 1  –  Sunday 9th June 2013 AM –  The Divine EmbraceREALationship

Have you ever fallen in love?

Do you remember the feeling of life and excitement that surges through your heart and emotions as you see someone in a different light to everyone else in your life?

God designed you to fall in love like that.

Have you ever broken up with someone, whether it was your decision or theirs and you literally feel like you’re going to die?

That’s because God designed you to have someone beside you.

God designed every single human being for REALationship.

Gen 2:18  The LORD God said, “It isn’t good for the man to live alone. I need to make a suitable partner for him.” (CEV)

You are made for relationship. You are designed to have another close to you and share your life with you.

My heart truly goes out to people who have lost their partner. I pray that over time they will find someone to share their life with. This is one of the most difficult challenges in life, losing your partner. My mum lost her husband and my father when she was only 36 and I was only seven years old. I saw how brave she was to build a family and look after a disabled daughter and her son as a single mother. I am a much richer person for her exceptionally positive outlook on life.

So let’s go back to the thought that you are designed for relationship. Where does that originate from? It’s from God Himself.

Eleven times God says in the bible, “I will be their God,” referring to His people and, “they shall be my people.”


2Co 6:16  And what agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.”

Deep in the heart of God He desires to have a relationship with people. With you! In the bible account of creation, God makes man and woman. It says Gen 3:8  And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. The first man and woman were used to having conversation with God and time with Him in the cool of the day. When they choose to disobey Him and take from the tree of Good and Evil, God was forced to drive them out of their first home in the Garden and into the wilderness to till the ground, so that they will not reach out and take the tree of life and live forever in this fallen state.

I can imagine it broke God’s heart to drive His friends away from the peace and joy they had known. Can you see how God knows the pain of separation?  That break in relationship causes real pain. If you are suffering pain today because of loss of relationship, God knows your pain, He cares for you, He has an answer for you.

God longs for relationship with you. We are created in His image and after His likeness so that we can walk with Him in relationship where we share our lives with each other. This is so far from religion it’s not funny! Religion is keeping a form and ceremony. It’s following a set tradition, a ritual of observance and there’s no deep conversation with the one you love, it’s all about going through the motions because that’s how you were taught to do it.

Religion is a bit like a marriage that lost its spark a long time ago; and now you’re just going through the motions because it’s too painful to do anything else. If you have been stuck in religion for some time, God has an answer for you… To fall in love with Jesus.

Do you have any idea how much God loves you? Do you have any idea how deeply He desires to be there for you and be your companion? Let me show you how God sees it.

Eph 5:31  As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother to get married, and he becomes like one person with his wife.”

Eph 5:32  This is a great mystery, but I understand it to mean Christ and his church. (CEV)

The most intimate relationship on earth is the marriage union between a man and a woman. When you see that relationship at its best you see a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Can there be a more intimate relationship than that?

God invented marriage and He wants us to see it in all its glory and splendour and see that’s how God wants it with us.

Eph 5:22  A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord.

Eph 5:23  A husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head and the Savior of the church, which is his own body.

Eph 5:24  Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first.

Eph 5:25  A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

Today we are going to witness a real marriage. Right here, right now a young couple are going to be married. I want you to see this marriage as a picture of the love that God has for you and the devotion that you can have for God.



In every wedding you witness a picture of the love, intimacy, hopes and joy of companionship that God desires to have with you.

To come to this place of true commitment Both Robert and Rebecca had to forgive each other for things they had done wrong. That allowed them to give themselves fully to each other in trust and commitment expecting that they can now build a future together.

In the same way to come to God we must be forgiven of things we have done that have prevented the relationship between you and God. God loves you. He desired so much to receive you as His son or daughter that he sent Jesus to die for you. Jesus was punished for your sins and my sins on the cross. This was so that he could satisfy God’s justice for all sins to be punished. We have sinned and the punishment we rightly deserve has been given to Jesus who stood in our place. Now that’s love and that’s commitment. Even before we responded God already sent Jesus to die for us.

He’s asking you today will you take me as your God and saviour. Will you give your life to me?


1. Discuss what it may have felt like for God to drive Adam and Eve from the garden following their disobedience.

2. Eleven Times God says, “I will be their God and They shall be my people” Discuss how much God longs for a people to be His own.

3.  If a marriage is a picture of Christ and His church, describe how a relationship with God should look from God’s point of view.

4. What does intimacy look like in a spiritual relationship between God and  believer?

5. How do you feel about your level of Intimacy with God in your own life?

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In April we spoke about being full of the Holy Spirit. To be baptised in the Holy Spirit is necessary to be a witness. We shared about the difference between being born of the Spirit and being baptised in the Holy Spirit and also about the value of praying in other tongues to build up your spiritual life.

Last week we began a new theme of being led by the Spirit.

We are designed by God to be a vessel for the Spirit of God to dwell in. We can choose to walk in the flesh or walk in the spirit. Being led by the Holy Spirit is a daily conversation with the Holy Spirit.

Let’s look at the fruits of the Spirit. What does the bible mean by fruits?

Fruits are the outward signs of the tree being healthy. Fruit is the sweet part that a tree produces to benefit passers–by. Fruit is the seed bearing part of the plant that enables reproduction. (Joh 13:35  By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves].)

Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

Gal 5:23  Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].

Now consider how many of these fruits can be displayed when we are alone?

Love  NO

joy (gladness),  YES

peace,   YES

patience (an even temper, forbearance),   NO

kindness,   NO

goodness (benevolence),   NO

faithfulness,   NO

Gentleness (meekness, humility),   NO

self-control (self-restraint, continence).   YES IN SOME WAYS

Most of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life is directed towards improving your relationships with people. Now let’s go back to the context of that verse about the fruit.


Gal 5:14  For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is complied with in the one precept, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. [Lev. 19:18.]

Gal 5:15  But if you bite and devour one another [in partisan strife], be careful that you [and your whole fellowship] are not consumed by one another.

Gal 5:16  But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).


Gal 5:17  For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do.


Gal 5:18  But if you are guided (led) by the [Holy] Spirit, you are not subject to the Law.

Gal 5:19  Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency,

Gal 5:20  Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with peculiar opinions, heresies),

Gal 5:21  Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.


Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

Gal 5:23  Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].

Gal 5:24  And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.

Gal 5:25  If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit we have our life in God, let us go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.]



So what does love and kindness look like on mother’s day?

Just about every kindergarten, school class room and Sunday school class will all be making a mother’s day gift each year. When little junior comes home to mum with the crayon drawing and egg carton stick man – her heart always melts.

Now we grow up and it’s not the same. Guys if you’re like me it’s Thursday and suddenly I think – Yikes…. I haven’t got a present for mum yet!! FLOWERS!!

Call the florist – spend some money and all is well. Call mum up on mother’s day and have chat.

It’s all good and that’s love. But imagine for one moment that you actually prayed about this…. I know that’s a radical thought!!! Now you ask God what would really bless my mum? He may very well lead you to say or do something that would truly make her day!

Here’s some random acts of kindness one of our interns prepared before hand for us…

  • Cook a meal for your mum
  1. Go grocery shopping with your mum.
  2. Wash her car
  3. Write a thankyou note to your mum.
  4. Post on facebook about how awesome your mum is.
  5. Send her a card once a week for a month.
  6. Buy her an inspiring book.
  7. Have a meaningful chat with her about stuff that she always cared about.
  8. Paint her a picture.
  9. Send some flowers.
  10. Send a note with just kisses on it.
  11. Go to her place and do some gardening.
  12. Take her to a movie. OR buy her a DVD and send it.
  13. Bake some cookies and send them to your mum.
  14. Call your mum
  15. Take you mum out to dinner or lunch.
  16. Tell your mum how she helped you as you were growing up.
  17. Tell your mum that you are praying for her.
  18. Ask your mum for advice about something.
  19. Send you mum some fun photos.


There’s a group of special mums that we as a church should look out for – The solo mums. There’s 8 solo mums in our church. It’s a big job being a great mum for any of our mothers, but when you don’t have anyone doing the journey beside you that makes it even harder. There’s no one to bounce ideas off and no one there with a shoulder when it all gets a bit tough.

That’s why church is a part of the answer.

1Ti 5:1  DO NOT sharply censure or rebuke an older man, but entreat and plead with him as [you would with] a father. Treat younger men like brothers;

1Ti 5:2  [Treat] older women like mothers [and] younger women like sisters, in all purity.

1Ti 5:3  [Always] treat with great consideration and give aid to those who are truly widowed (solitary and without support).


  1. Talk about some ways that natural fruit and spiritual fruit are alike and different.
  2. How can a Christian increase the fruits of the Spirit in their life?
  3. What are the fruits of the spirit you are pretty good at?
  4. What are the fruits of the Spirit you need to see an increase in for your life?
  5. What can you do to show kindness to a vulnerable person in the church? When will you do it?

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